‘Once we began with McAuley I knew things would change, we were in good hands’

With the support of McAuley’s Family Violence Outreach Program, Myla and her children are beginning to rebuild their lives in the safety of their family home and local community.

After enduring years of physical, sexual and psychological abuse by her now ex-husband, Myla met a man online and married him, hoping to build a new life together with her child and her new stepchildren. But it wasn’t long before the cycle of abuse began again and this time, her children were also victims.

“I was overseas when my children called me and said they had been abused by their father,” says Myla. “They said they would never go back to the house with him and one of my daughters was suicidal. I didn’t know what to do. I was so far away; I couldn’t help them. I told them to go to the police, but the police did nothing, they didn’t have time for our problems, nobody would listen or do anything.”

Myla felt completely alone. She couldn’t tell her family and despite numerous visits to local police when she returned to Australia, Myla and her children’s reports of abuse fell on deaf ears. It wasn’t until a local service provider, who helped Myla to secure an IVO against her husband, referred her to McAuley that she finally felt heard.

“I couldn’t talk about what was happening because I was so embarrassed,” said Myla. “It was my second failed marriage, and I knew I would be judged by my community. I didn’t know where to turn or where to start, I felt hopeless and depressed. Once we began with McAuley I knew things would change, we were in good hands.”

Because Myla and her children remained in their home, and did not require emergency accommodation, they worked with McAuley’s Outreach Program to address the family’s needs.

McAuley’s Outreach Program supports adults and children experiencing family violence across the Western Melbourne region, mostly referred through the Orange Door. McAuley’s team of Family Violence Practitioners works with the women and children to provide tailored support based on their needs, such as safety planning, advocacy to housing providers, education and employment support, financial and material aid, and social and community connections.

McAuley’s first priority was to ensure Myla and her children were safe. A security audit was carried out on the family’s home and McAuley organised for security cameras, sensor lights, security doors and additional locks to be installed through the Personal Safety Initiative funded by Family Safety Victoria.

The Outreach Team also helped Myla understand the different forms of abuse and the times when victim survivors are at increased risk – such as during court proceedings. Together they discussed strategies to help keep Myla and her children safe.

“We felt safer after McAuley organised our security,” said Myla. “We also put locks on one room so that we have somewhere to hide if we need to and we now have an escape strategy too in case we need to leave. It’s good having a plan and knowing what to do.”

The team also helped Myla’s children to reengage with their schooling, following a significant period of absence.

“My children had missed almost a month of school,” said Myla. “They were struggling to listen in class because they were so traumatised, and they were falling behind. I was very worried for them, especially my eldest daughter who is in Year 12.”

To ensure that Myla’s children could continue their education while they sought counselling for their trauma, McAuley’s Outreach team applied for a Flexible Support Package (FSP) for each of Myla’s daughters, which paid for private tutoring for each child, as well as a vouchers to buy new laptops to replace devices that had been broken during their father’s violent outbursts. The funding also paid for counselling for Myla’s two eldest daughters.

“My children are now back at school and they have improved a lot thanks to their tutoring sessions. My eldest daughter is completing her Year 12 exams at the moment and I am so proud of her. I am so grateful we could arrange support for them,” says Myla.

McAuley also provided Myla with Kmart vouchers to buy presents for her daughters’ birthdays and applied for a separate FSP for Myla, which helped to provide much needed food vouchers for the family.

To assist Myla to begin to restore her financial security, the Outreach Team referred her to the Centrelink Engagement Officer who visits McAuley regularly, and who assisted her in sorting out payments and Centrelink debts.

Prior to her referral to McAuley, Myla had also engaged Westjustice to help manage her financial pressures.

“I was struggling to keep up with payments,” says Myla. “My husband had taken my car and received a large number of fines. He also left me with no money and a mortgage on our home. I was struggling to keep up with the payments and I was so worried we would lose our home. Then where would we go?”

Westjustice helped Myla to apply for a utility relief grant to help pay for utility bills, secured a hold on her mortgage and council rates until she was able to pay them, organised payment plans for bills and ensured the motor vehicle fines accrued by her husband were waived.

Recently Myla engaged a lawyer to help her to divorce her husband. While she and her children are beginning to build the foundations for a new life they, like many victim survivors of family violence, they continue to face ongoing challenges in a disparate and siloed system that can be difficult to navigate.

“Thanks to McAuley we know we are safe in our home and that is my biggest priority,” says Myla. “But at the same time we are always worried. I see my husband drive past our house often and I see his car down at our local shopping centre when I go there. He even contacts me on social media. I share all of this with the police, but they don’t do anything. So I make sure my brother stays with us for security because we don’t know what [my husband’s] next move is. You never know when he will lose his mind and come for us.”