‘I’m starting to find myself again’

Since 2020, McAuley has been working across five Prevention and Recovery Care (PARC) residential sites in Melbourne’s northwest to help address the challenges faced by victim-survivors and bring greater insight and awareness of family violence as a factor in a person’s mental health.

Andrea*, has been a resident at PARC for two months. A survivor of sexual abuse at the hands of her partner and the father of her two children, Andrea had been suffering from severe anxiety. At times the anxiety was so debilitating that she relied on anti-anxiety medication, which in time she began to abuse.

“I would stay awake at night out of fear for my children’s safety”, says Andrea. “Some days it was so bad I was unable to get out of bed without the help of medication. I was in survival mode, not sleeping, not showering. I had to look after my children, they were my number one priority, but it was very hard.”

During this time, Andrea found that despite reaching out to support services for help, her mental health needs were continuously ignored. Services would close her case early because she appeared to be doing well.

“I was reaching out everywhere for help, and no one would help me, they said I was fine,” she says. “You never know what’s going on behind closed doors, and we always have to hit rock bottom before we can get help. It shouldn’t be like that. I told everybody that I wasn’t well, my workers, my doctors, and nothing was done.”

Eventually, Andrea had a psychotic break and was admitted to hospital for 16 weeks of treatment and recovery. After her stay, she was referred to PARC, where she was linked with McAuley.

Andrea also connected with McAuley’s Homelessness and Family Violence Worker, who provided support and access to McAuley’s range of housing and legal services. Having McAuley experts based at PARC means they can work closely with Wellways Recovery Workers and other clinical practitioners to ensure people like Andrea receive the holistic support they need.

Through PARC and with the assistance of McAuley, Andrea left her abusive relationship and ensured that her children were safe with a family member. She has been able to access a range of support services to help aid her recovery, including an onsite psychiatrist, clinicians and a psychologist, who are working with Andrea to help her understand the impacts of her trauma, rebuild her confidence as a mother and regain her independence.

“I’m starting to find myself again,” says Andrea. “A lot of the times when you’re in a relationship like that, you don’t know yourself, you lose yourself. The people at PARC, as well as McAuley, are helping me to do things I haven’t been able to do in a long time because of my anxiety, like getting in the car to go the pharmacy or the doctor.”

McAuley has been closely supporting Andrea to regain her independence, advocating for her to receive social housing and co-ordinating other support services based on her needs. Most recently, thanks to a collaborative effort by McAuley and Seddon Community Bank, Andrea was able to open her own bank account despite having very little documentation. This enabled her to apply for the Disability Support Pension. For the first time in over 20 years, Andrea has financial independence. Andrea was also connected with social clothing supplier Thread Together who provided new clothes for her and her children.

“McAuley has helped me so much, and the steps we have taken together will have a big impact on my future. I am making new goals, including saving for a car and rent for when I leave PARC and I can’t wait to go shopping for myself and my children.”

For Andrea, her children are the driving force behind her recovery. She says that giving up care of her children was heart breaking, but after seeing them thrive over the past few months, she knows that it was the right decision.

“It’s hard to have them away from you when they have been with you every single day. But I’m doing it for them,” she says.

With the support of McAuley, Andrea has been working on rebuilding her confidence as a mother, including providing ongoing support to understand parenting and mental health, facilitating visits and maintaining contact with her children, as well as providing donated toys to nurture their bond.

No longer stuck in survival mode, Andrea has a been able to build a plan for her future and is working hard towards her goals of finding secure housing, being reunited with her children and most importantly, her recovery.

“I have to make sure that I’m alright, so that I can get through the hard days. I’m getting better at opening up and I hope that by talking about my experience I can help other women who are going through something similar. It’s small steps, but I know I’m gonna get there.”

At the end of her stay at PARC, Andrea made the move to McAuley House Footscray, McAuley’s flagship medium-term accommodation for women experiencing or at-risk of homelessness. She continues to receive support from McAuley toward her future.